Occasionally, movies come out that are so bad, studios refuse to screen them for critics. To help give you a heads-up, here's our take on the trailers.
A married man and woman (who look suspiciously like Ross and Rachel from TV's Friends) meet on a commuter train and start to have an affair. During one of their adulterous trysts, a gunman breaks into their hotel room and calls the man by name. Soon, the sinister phone calls and blackmail demands from the gunman begin, and Ross and Rachel fear they'll lose the families they've cheated on. But, as we hear the bad guy use the man's name, we know something else is afoot.
We like the fact the villian's name is French, but otherwise there doesn't seem to be anything in Derailed that we haven't seen before. And while the movie might be offering itself up as a parable about marital fidelity, we all know that Ross and Rachel will survive, thus proving that cheating on your spouse is OK because you'll eventually outwit the mean blackmailer.
The most dangerous aspect of the film: It has two big-name stars and no press screenings, meaning Miramax must really think that light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.