The Magical Life of a Once Upon a Time Reality TV Star
Sometimes we smack our heads and wonder, how long will the fame of Survivor survive? Susan Hawks, who was in the original Survivor (rough-mouthed truck driver), is still enjoying, er, experiencing her fame. On New Year's Eve she was hypnotized by Michael Johns in "Hypnosis Gone Wild." The press release notes that Hawks, who runs a juice shop in Summerlin, "went under so deep, which usually means the person is very smart and of sound mind." Okey dokey.
2005: The Year of Money and Death for the Homeless. Can We Do Better in 2006?
Linda Lera Randle El, head of Straight From the Streets, sums up the dichotomy of 2005 for the homeless population: "For me 2005 was the year of the first-ever funding by the legislator to help Clark County with the chronically homeless population but also the year of the most recorded deaths of street people ... 2006 will hopefully be the start of something better for street people." Amen.
All Cadets, Atten-SHUN! Count off—One! Two! Three! March!:
'Sing Les Miz and Phantom Too! (Sing Les Miz and Phantom Too!) Even Cats and Avenue Q! (Even Cats and Avenue Q!) Sound off! (One! Two!) Sound Off! (Three! Four!) Sound off! Rent! and Cam ... Two! Three! ... elot!'
And so it goes in Broadway Boot Camp.
Though not officially sanctioned by the U.S. military as far as we know, the training program comes-a-marchin' into Vegas January 23-29 at the Backstage Dance Studio to whip "Broadway-bound actors of all ages" into musical-theater shape. It's pricey, though: $575 or $595, depending on whether you opt for the catered lunch.
The curriculum was concocted by Broadway vets Adam Hunter and David Barrus, and will include guidance on sharpening audition skills, perfecting head shots and résumés, vocal coaching and introductions to casting directors and agents. The special guest is Alice Ripley, a Tony nominee as lead actress for Side Show who has also appeared in Sunset Boulevard and The Who's Tommy on the Great White Way, and in Les Miserables on national tour.
Two sessions (weekday and weekend) are limited to 25 participants each. For more information, visit thebroadwaycompany.com or call Farah Chapes at 678-361-3720. And now, back to Sarge:
One! Two! Three! March!:
"Dance to Hair and Carousel! (Dance to Hair and Carousel!), Annie too, and Mame as well! (Annie too, and Mame as well!), Sound off! (One! Two!) Sound off! (Three! Four!) Sound off! Grease and Miss ... Two! Three! ... Saigon! ..."
News You Absolutely Can't Use If You Are An Adult With Half a Life
"(The Hilton sisters) Paris and Nicky apologized to the management for the way they behaved" at Pure on New Year's Eve. —Review-Journal. Who cares.
So You Came to Vegas to Exorcise and Exhale, hmm?
Ad for new books: "There are over 20 worldwide EX-Rated City Guides, including Singapore, Portland, New York, Las Vegas, Amsterdam, Montreal, Bodrum, Dallas, Cairo, Pondicherry, Penang and Nashville ... They are EX-Rated, not X-Rated and definitely not dating or singles guides. They support women re-creating their lives after a divorce or breakup. ...They suggest places women can go as they move through the stages of 'EX,' including Exile, Express, Exorcise, Explore and Exhale. From kickboxing to secret gardens, museums to karaoke clubs, the EX-Rated City Guides provide a fun way for women around the world to transition from EX to Extraordinary."
With Apologies to Santayana
R-J Grand Poobah Thomas Mitchell quotes Santayana in discussing the future of the R-J: "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." We're not sure where the Review Journal fits into that equation, but we doubt it is meant to relate to this other bit of information from Mitch in his Sunday column: "We also are giving more space for our editorials on a daily basis."
May we suggest another Santanyana quote: "Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim."
Potted Comic
"I knew I was not destined to be a cash cow. Even when I was a cabaret comic, I always had a tough time getting an audience. They'd book me into Caesars Palace in Las Vegas and they'd have half a house. By the third night, the head waiters would be pulling the potted plants in so they could make the space much smaller for the audience."
One Weekly Staffer's Account of Cheery Holidays.
I was sitting at home minding my own business when suddenly a horrendous flu crept into my head and blossomed in my immune system, completely knocking me on my ass. The next day was bronchitis, followed by sinusitis, followed by malaria and the bubonic plague, followed by the unrelated but somehow not entirely coincidental loss of a beloved pet and a notice from amazon.com that all of my books would be late and a notice from the DMV that I forgot to renew the registration on my car. Happy New Year.
This Week's Installment of the Top Three Vegas Items on e-Bay
1. Men's Neck Tie: Gambling Vegas Poker Cards Necktie, New—$6.99
2. Robert DeNiro Casino Las Vegas signed 8x10 photo —$7.99
3. George Lopez Casino Ad —Paris, Las Vegas—$.99
RJ: "Muscular Suspects Sought in Slaying"
Isn't this profiling? Excuse me, ma'am, but those are some mighty beefy biceps you've got there ... step out of the car ... sloooowly...
Trump Doesn't Want To Be Governor of New York?
Of course not. He's destined to be the next mayor of Las Vegas. Who else has a personality, or an ego, big enough to follow Oscar?
However, our pick for Trump's next move would be to fill in for Norv Turner as the head coach of the Raiders: Each week on the sidelines another Raider gets the ax: "You're fired!"