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Onstage

Julie Seabaugh/Rick Stoeckel


Work of Art: Grant Wood's "American Gothic"


Production: Following in the footsteps of The Music Man and Oklahoma!, Ma and Pa Gothic help a politically conservative town forget about the recent loss of control of the U.S. Senate and House of Reps through the joy of song and dance in the stage version of Pitchfork! The Musical. Songs include a beautiful solo by Britney Spears, "Overalls but No Underpants" and Mel Gibson's "My Pitchfork is Not for Chasing Jews!"


Work of Art: Van Gogh's "Starry Night"


Production: Stoners and art lovers unite when the ear-slicing Dutchman's heady swirl is reimagined as Nyte Phall, a post-impressionistic planetarium spectacular. Halfway through each showing, Christopher Walken destroys the set, attacks several main cast members and zips over the audience on a wire, all while shouting that he is controller of the universe. Walken is not actually in the production; he just shows up every night and manages to get past security. Still, he receives a standing ovation, and there is talk of a Tony Award nomination.


Work of Art: Auguste Rodin's "The Thinker"


Production: Cerebral stand-up at its best! Think Thank Thunk has been described by critics as "unwatchable," "terrible," and "hold me back. I'm going to burn down the stage!" The one-man show, performed in its seated entirety on a slab of rock, begins its initial run with stoic monologues by Carrot Top. Later dates will feature Gallagher as he contemplates his turbulent relationship with watermelons.


Work of Art: Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa"

Production: Enigmatic? Perhaps. Scandalous? Most definitely. Oh, Mona!, the titillating burlesque show brought to you by the producers of La Femme, stars The View host Rosie O'Donnell: moody, bloated and unshaven. Warning: This show contains adult content.

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