Who: Tony Danza as Max Bialystock in The Producers (beginning August 13)
Sounds like: A Jewish schemer. With an Italian accent.
Key tracks: “The King of Broadway,” “Springtime for Hitler.”
Requisite soundbite: “He’s a Vegas guy and just belongs there. He will take over and set Vegas on its ear. His moves are so clean and neat and his voice is so fabulous. I think he’s gonna shake things up and make for a hard ticket to get!” –Mel Brooks
Who: Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza
Sounds like: Tech-metal
Key tracks: “My Bowling Ball’s Frozen in a Footlocker in Chicago,” “God Ain’t Got No Use For No 180lb. Bag of Sugar,” “Big Pun’s Not Dead Because I Just Saw Him at Krispy Kreme”
Requisite soundbite: “That was good. I’ll be humming that all day.” –Tony Danza, The Tony Danza Show –Julie Seabaugh
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Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza with Kill Whitney Dead, The Demonstration, From the Shallows. Represent, Rhinoceros, To This Day, Off With His Head. July 22, 6 p.m., $12. Leathernecks, 368-1775.
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Illustration by Colleen Wang