1. Initiative pushes gaming to pay all property taxes. Next petition: gaming to gently burp us after meals.
2. NY Times blasts Oscar for lax stance on degradation of women. Local women afraid to comment.
3. Jay-Z to “marry” sports and entertainment in new club. Are you with the bride or groom, Mr. Pacman Jones?
4. Metro pushes for charges against Lacey Thomas. Former UMC boss already has nifty prison nickname!
5. LV makes survey of top places to relocate, go to school. Especially if you’re one pole-dancing class away from degree.
6. Harrah’s donates $30 mil to hotel college. We rescind the sarcasm above.
7. Ron Paul fans jubilant after bannering LV overpasses. Hanging campaign signs in busy spots? Let’s hope other candidates don’t try that.
8. Swiss watchmaker hires Agassi as “ambassador of elegance.” Meanwhile, Oscar still searching for “ambassador of degradation.”