A&E

[Confessions of a Showgirl]

Confessions of a Showgirl: Vegas battles LA in the Showgirl’s Super Bowl

Image
Maren Wade

It’s time for the big game. You anxiously watch the ball go back and forth. Suddenly, one side makes a play. He shoots! He scores! Touchdown!

Okay, I have a confession to make: I don’t know much about sports, so the Super Bowl is a foreign concept to me. In this showgirl’s world, the Super Bowl of all debates is over which city is better—Los Angeles or Las Vegas. Since I’ve lived in both places, I’ll weigh in. Think of me as the referee while I compare both cities in some popular categories.

Best City to Raise a Family Both score points here. Next time you go out, whether it’s to dinner (in LA) or a nightclub (in Vegas), take notice of how many fathers spend quality time with their daughters. I mean, where else do you see so many older men being so attentive? They’re busy wining and dining the apples of their eyes. It brings warmth to my heart.

Las Vegas 1; LA 1

Most Attractive Population Speaking of those daughters, they are all so young and gorgeous, not to mention talented. In LA, they are all actresses with carefully crafted beach waves of hair that are too perfect to have come from the beach. They also work so hard. On top of acting, they wait on tables.

In Las Vegas, you have the showgirls, who carefully spend their time getting stuck in cakes, fishnets and sequins, chicken costumes, zig-zag boxes … is there anything I missed? Anyway, we do all this while maintaining the glitter and glamour that comes with being a Vegas Showgirl. I think Vegas should score the point this quarter for the chicken costume alone.

Las Vegas 2; LA 1

City with the Best Transportation In LA, it takes 45 minutes to travel five miles because you’re stuck in traffic. In Vegas, you’re not stuck in traffic. You’re stuck at the traffic light for the whole 45 minutes. Las Vegas gets a point deduction on this one. Told you this race was a nailbiter.

Las Vegas 1; LA 1

Most Athletic City We’ve all heard it and I’m here to verify. Nobody walks in LA. In Vegas, you can walk for miles and that’s just from your car to the casino.

I’m not a big fan of walking, since I only own shoes with heels. I am in favor of it, theoretically. I’ll give LA a point in this inning.

Las Vegas 1; LA 2

Most Stylish City LA is famous for its style but it can be too stylish for its own good. For instance, many restaurants won’t allow men to wear caps, or they restrict women when it comes to other popular accessories, such as Chihuahuas.

Las Vegas establishments have certain restrictions as well. There are signs, which read: “No firearms or weapons permitted on this property.”

I’m a big fan of Chihuahuas. (I have two. They’re rescues. Their names are Gidget and Lenny. Want to see a picture?) Where was I? I’ll let Gidget and Lenny decide this round.

Las Vegas 2; LA 2

City with the Most Diversity Both cities have many colorful characters. In Los Angeles, you might see a wild and animated redhead, hard at work, pushing around his shopping cart and speaking to his imaginary friends. In Vegas, that guy has his own show!

Las Vegas 3; LA 3

So what’s the score? It’s a tie! What do they do in sports when it’s a tie? Do they go into overtime? Well, in that case, you can’t compete with a city that stays open 24/7. Las Vegas wins by a goal!

Follow Maren on Twitter @marenwade and read more Confessions at confessionsofashowgirl.com.

Share
  • The action is rote, the special effects are surprisingly poor and the character interactions are only occasionally entertaining.

  • Everything in theaters this week, plus special screenings and movie reviews.

  • Sad Daze in Happy Valley drops November 17, with a release show one night later at Starboard Tack.

  • Get More A&E Stories
Top of Story