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Las Vegas Weekly Staff

Las Vegas Weekly Staff

Story Archive

  • Economy

    Thursday, May 7, 2009

    Assuming you’re one of those Nevadans who still oppose tax increases, we’d like to offer the following advice: Leave, because it’s obvious you have no interest in the state’s long-term survival.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, May 7, 2009

    Bored Las Vegas teen pretends to offer baby for sale on Craigslist.
    Prank goes horribly wrong when Madonna and Angelina Jolie start vicious bidding war.
    Gunman robs MGM Grand, takes off on motorcycle.
    Man! Even getaway vehicles are taking a hit in this economy.
    First case of swine flu in Nevada found in Reno.
    Gov. Jim Gibbons quick to insist he’s been nowhere near Reno for the last few weeks.

  • Monday, May 4, 2009

    Win your way into his sold out midnight show!

  • Friday, May 1, 2009

    Just a few months after Danny Gans moved to a new residency at the Encore Theater in February, the entertainer has reportedly died in his sleep.

  • Film

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    The six most-anticipated films from the year’s biggest box-office season.

  • A&E

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    Once again, we bring you our picks for the most beautiful people in Las Vegas, a diverse collection of actors and artists, bakers and basketball players. Their beauty is ineffable, outstanding and undeniable. See for yourself.

  • Health

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    Sorry, but we have a bit of a tough time swallowing Gov. Jim Gibbons’ claim that Nevada is prepared for the swine flu, and has “standard operating procedures” in place.

  • Entertainment

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    Noriko Takahashi says she sometimes gets recognized in Japan even without her makeup. Her role—the baton-twirling daughter of the chief archer—is a natural fit.

  • Saturday, April 25, 2009

    Monaco hid behind the bed during an early morning robbery.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    Lindsay Lohan allegedly considering joining Peepshow topless revue in Las Vegas.
    We don’t really like it either, guys, but it’s either this or she keeps making movies.
    Criss Angel calls Perez Hilton a “douchebag” during his show.
    Proving beyond all shadow of scientific doubt that it does, indeed, take one to know one.
    Nevada lawmakers vote to soften statewide smoking ban.
    You can now smoke wherever people eat, gamble and breathe.

  • Film

    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    A Weekly list of movies to help you deal with the economic crisis.

  • Economy

    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    The dollar not quite worth what it was yesterday? We’ve come up with a few ways to take the painful sting out of enjoying life.

  • Multimedia

    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    The Las Vegas Sun (the Weekly’s corporate sibling) has been pumping out consistently high-quality work for some time, and it’s finally been rewarded, with the Holy Grail of journalism awards, no less: the Pulitzer.

  • Las Vegas Convention and Visitor's Authority

    Thursday, April 16, 2009

    When R&R slams the recent demand for more accountability regarding the money they are receiving from the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, as taxpayers we get a tad, well, miffed.

  • Nightlife

    Thursday, April 16, 2009

    Don’t even think about showing up to UNLVino on an empty stomach.

  • Literature

    Thursday, April 16, 2009

    To Kill a Mockingbird With a Robot Atticus Finch, Boo Radley—and Autobots and Decepticons: Now that’s how you tell a searing tale of injustice in the Depression-era South!

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, April 16, 2009

    Las Vegas Monopoly champion says game is “half skill, half luck.”
    Well, having no life whatsoever helps, too.
    Prostitution tax dies in Nevada Legislature.
    Yes, even a state that fully supports gambling addiction, quickie marriages and brothels has standards.
    Homeless rate jumps 17 percent to 13,338 in Southern Nevada.
    Oscar Goodman hard at work on latest unconstitutional solution.

  • Economy

    Thursday, April 16, 2009

    As the economy gets suckier and suckier, more communities across the country are discovering the trend of printing their own money. We couldn’t help but wonder what our currency would look like if we did.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, April 9, 2009

    Hugh Hefner celebrates 83rd birthday in Las Vegas.
    Scientists note a momentary disruption of the silicone balance on the Strip.
    Man who faked his own death arrested after allegedly cheating at Las Vegas casino.
    Yes, you may be able to fake your own death, but cheating in Vegas? Get real!
    TV Land casts Chaparral High School’s class of 1989 for third season of High School Reunion.
    Memories will include having a governor who didn’t hate education.

  • Gaming

    Thursday, April 9, 2009

    Someone in Las Vegas finally gets it! Now there’s now a true incentive to gamble, thanks to the folks at bar chain O’Aces: guns!

  • Film

    Thursday, April 9, 2009

    Dawn of the Dead (1978) George Romero’s zombie classic is set primarily in an abandoned mall, where survivors of the zombie apocalypse hide out.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, April 2, 2009

    Las Vegas Metro police are now using Twitter.
    The first tweet said, “Sprinkles on donuts are for wimps!”
    More and more Canadians are buying second homes in Las Vegas.
    Wow, guess those rumors we started about Celine Dion returning are starting to pay dividends.
    Window washers rescued after winds cause cable to snap at Encore.
    They’re pursuing safer jobs—like construction on the Strip.

  • television

    Thursday, April 2, 2009

    As two new cop series launch on ABC and NBC, Weekly takes a look back at the all-time best television shows about the boys in blue.

  • Entertainment

    Thursday, April 2, 2009

    In this age of uncertainty, how refreshing it is to know that countries such as Suriname are on top of their game against all foreign threats, arresting our Las Vegas impersonators when they travel to such countries and—horrors!—actually impersonate someone.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, March 26, 2009

    83-year-old fugitive arrested in Las Vegas.
    Authorities were able to track him down using the AARP newsletter.
    Man attacked by swarm of bees in Las Vegas back yard after disturbing their nest.
    You can’t really blame the bees—they thought they were being foreclosed on.
    City approves $190 million in bonds for construction of the Smith Center for the Performing Arts.
    Yeah, it might not seem like a great idea in a recession, but if there’s one thing that’s got a future in Vegas, it’s the arts—right?

  • Casinos

    Thursday, March 26, 2009

    We couldn’t help but be a little puzzled when we heard that a Toronto businessman wanted for $12.9 million in gambling debts was able to write a (bad) check for $7.9 million at one of our esteemed casinos. What the hell were you guys thinking?

  • Education

    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    We all know that Nevada’s educational system, well, sucks. But do we need to add insult to injury by condoning cheating?

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    O.J. Simpson supporters start fundraising website to help him appeal his conviction in Las Vegas.
    Itow if they could only find a lawyer who’ll work for 59 cents ...
    MGM allegedly in talks to offer casinos as collateral.
    The first property will be Luxor, and they’ll even throw in Carrot Top for free!
    Assembly Democrats sidestep Gov. Jim Gibbons to get to stimulus funds for expanded jobless benefits.
    You would think Gibbons would have supported it—after all, he’s going to be jobless soon.

  • Crime

    Thursday, March 12, 2009

    Let’s face it: The penalty system in this country for drunk drivers is a goddamn joke.

  • Entertainment

    Thursday, March 12, 2009

    That water that pours from her character’s fingertips? “It’s cold!”

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, March 12, 2009

    Rep. Shelley Berkley tells her colleagues: “Stop bashing Las Vegas.”
    IShe added, “Let’s pick on cities that can’t fight back—like Detroit!”
    Las Vegas unemployment hits 10 percent.
    The economy is so bad, the Britney Spears impersonator at Legends is the actual Britney Spears.
    International Magicians Society dubs Criss Angel “Magician of the Decade.”
    IThe society then went back down into its parents’ basement and blogged about who would win in a wizards’ duel—Gandalf or Angel.

  • television

    Thursday, March 12, 2009

    From Johnny Carson to Pat Sajak, a visual representation of late night devolution.

  • Wednesday, March 11, 2009

    Four days, six venues, around 100 bands from Las Vegas and beyond.

  • Dining

    Thursday, March 5, 2009

    It’s time once again to support the future of America by buying deliciously fattening cookies from troops of Girl Scouts.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, March 5, 2009

    Criss Angel splits with Holly Madison after four months.
    It happened when she realized she was Holly Madison, and that she was dating Criss Angel.
    Analyst predicts Las Vegas housing market will begin full recovery by late 2011.
    We predict that housing analyst in late 2011 will reveal, “Sorry, I just pulled all that out of my butt.”
    Killers countersue former manager for “double-dealing.”
    If nothing else, Brandon Flowers should get a song with really confusing lyrics out of this.

  • Taxes

    Thursday, March 5, 2009

    Death and taxes—which is worse? At least death offers a certain finality. Taxes involve endless paperwork and jawboning by politicians.

  • Music

    Thursday, Feb. 26, 2009

    On the occasion of the Weekly review of U2's new album, No Line on the Horizon, a few staffers share their favorite tracks from Bono and company.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, Feb. 26, 2009

    Harry Reid won’t call for Sen. Roland Burris’ resignation, saying, “We’re just going to wait and see what’s going to happen.”
    If Burris’ nose begins to grow, the course is pretty clear.
    Nelly proposes Nelly’s Night in Vegas, because “I was thinking about what was missing on TV.”
    Amazingly, the answer came back, “Nelly.”
    Bravo denies rumor it’s scouting for a Real Housewives of Las Vegas show.
    Then adds, “But thanks for the idea!”

  • Entertainment

    Thursday, Feb. 26, 2009

    After watching the witless farrago that was this year’s Oscars, we know what has to be done to save the dying franchise: Bring it to Las Vegas.

  • Nevada

    Thursday, Feb. 26, 2009

    Turn-ons: 1. Parking garages, but only if the cameras don’t show anything

  • Budget

    Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009

    We have to hand it to Harry Reid. At a time when the country can ill-afford pet projects, Reid, with a straight face no less, is claiming that the $8 billion in the stimulus package for high-speed-rail grants is not specifically earmarked for an Anaheim-to-Las Vegas line.

  • Film

    Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009

    The producers of this year’s Academy Awards ceremony (airing February 22 at 5:30 p.m. on ABC) have promised a show full of surprises, even if all the winners end up being entirely predictable.

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009

    Forbes calls Las Vegas America’s “emptiest” city.
    We’re so desperate, we’ll even let Chris Brown stay here.
    Oscar Goodman demands Barack Obama apologize for Las Vegas comment.
    Which Obama will do, as soon as he finishes the 999,999 more important things on his agenda.
    Nevada’s portion of stimulus bill estimated to be $480 million.
    Even as we speak, Jim Gibbons is furiously working to make sure education doesn’t see a dime of that money.

  • Entertainment

    Thursday, Feb. 19, 2009

    Mello, who describes herself as “spontaneous and playful,” jumped at the chance to double as a back-up zebra.

  • Art

    Thursday, Feb. 12, 2009

    We’re as fascinated by our mayor as the rest of the free world, but we really feel the need to call him on his latest comment on the arts, specifically that he doesn’t see an art museum as necessary for Downtown. Really, Oscar?

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, Feb. 12, 2009

    Las Vegas’s traffic-ticket amnesty program extended after collecting at least $4 million in unpaid tickets.
    So when do we start the amnesty program for CEOs to pay back all the money they didn’t really earn?
    Elton John to close Red Piano shows at Caesars after April 22.
    Thank goodness! Now we can finally get someone talented in there!
    In wake of construction defects, county calling for additional inspections at CityCenter.
    We thought of adding a joke here, but CityCenter has enough problems, don’cha think?

  • Economy

    Thursday, Feb. 5, 2009

    The sad truth is that some of you reading this have either lost your job or will lose it before the year is over. But nearly as sad is that when most of you try to get unemployment, you’ll find yourself lost amid a sea of busy signals and impersonal websites

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, Feb. 5, 2009

    Study: Las Vegas expected to cut 35,000 jobs this year.
    But Gov. Gibbons says not to worry—most of those will be teaching jobs
    Mark & Mercedes to be syndicated in Sacramento.
    A recession, global warming and now this? Things are worse than we thought.
    Bailed-out Wells Fargo bank plans Las Vegas casino junkets.
    And to think we were told the bailout money wouldn’t be going to casinos. Go figure!

  • Literature

    Thursday, Feb. 5, 2009

    1. “I was once again stunned. Not by what this kid was telling me, but by the fact that someone had actually named their daughter Saucy. ‘Why was she sitting on you screaming about having sex?’ I asked.” (Page 23)

  • Help Desk

    Thursday, Jan. 29, 2009

    Assessor’s office: 200,000 may pay lower property taxes this year.
    The remaining 1.8 million don’t have homes anymore.
    Las Vegas 3-year-old boy survives 325-pound snake attack.
    His mother vows to get a safer pet next time: a pit bull.
    Vegas oddsmaker says Slumdog Millionaire is best bet for Oscar.
    And after seeing an immensely more entertaining Golden Globes, the Weekly says Oscar is best bet for complete irrelevance.